White Houses
by TofuLove
Summary: Hermione's first experience in her new home. One she will remember forevor. RHR Oneshot rated M for adult content. Songfic.


_It isn't at all what I expected. I expected it to be not at all what the man had told me it would be like. It has an upstairs room and a fireplace and hardwood floors. Everything is just as it's supposed to be, something that very rarely happens to me. A lot of people disagreed with my idea of buying a home at a time of war, especially considering who I am. But it is in a muggle neighborhood, and I need a break before I delve back into work and troubled times. My problems tend to be bigger then other people's problems, even the small ones, and I don't want this house to be one of them. This house is going to be my haven; this house is going to be the best part of my life right now. This is my house and I intend to keep it for as long as I Can. _

_XXX_

_Things are pretty hectic right now its summer and Harry and Ron are both at Auror training, fighting to defeat the dark lord. Ginny and I are still close, but she's often busy with her Medi witch training and I with my potions apprenticeship. We're all doing our own part to make sure our side comes out on top. We're all just waiting for something to happen. There's a rumor circulating through the order that Voldemort has been planning something with Greyback. All of the werewolves and death eaters are to lie low until the term starts again and everyone is anxious. This summer I intend to enjoy my life while I still can because none of us are certain of how much longer it will be before everything is broken in the war. Right now we're just trying to be ourselves. _

_**XXX**_

_**Crashed on the floor when I moved in**__. I just got all of my things packed from my parent's house and rushed over with what I could carry. I'm wandering if I should just stay here all summer and hide out from the world. But I can't, Crookshanks is almost out of food and I have work in the morning. _

_XXX_

_It's been a week that I've been here and __**this little bungalow is a strange new friend. I stay up to late and I'm to thin, **__at least that's what Harry and Ron told me. Ginny and them both came to visit the second day I was here. They all approve and agree we have to get together sometime before summer is over. We all know what might happen after that. The house is still empty; I haven't made a trip back to my parents' house to get some hand me down furniture. I still have to go buy a sofa, my mother is determined to keep hers. I think the living room might stay empty for a while. I need to keep my funds up to pay for groceries and I won't be able to afford furniture for a few months. Maybe I'll start a fund for it, just made of change. I like looking at the hard wood floors anyway. Crookshanks slides across them in front of me and yowls in frustration as he hops onto the bottommost stair where I am sitting. Him…not so much. _

XXX

_I've been living here for two weeks now and I love this house even more. I finally made it to my parent's house and I at least have a bed now. I gave the sheets I used to sleep on to Crookshanks and got some for myself from my parents' house. Mum won't miss them. My bedroom is set up for the most part and I think I have just about everything I need from my parent's house. My mum offered the sofa to me but I told her I'll just wait. I'm content with things right now and the only insecurity I have is that I don't know how long this is going to last. I hope I never have to give up this house. I feel a bit silly about it but I feel very connected to it somehow. As if I truly belong here. I want to stay in this house, __**we promised each other it's till the end,**__ I'll stay in this house till the end. _

XXX

_It's been another week and I can hardly believe how fast time is going by. Harry and Ron finally got time off and Ginny is using two of her sick days to come and stay at the house with us. It'll just be us and Crookshanks. _

_XXX_

_We got some Butterbeer and a few bottles of Firewhiskey from Diagon alley and are starting to get a bit out of it. My head is light and I feel very silly. I'm giggling as Harry and Ron fall over in the ground after dancing with each other in circles. Crookshanks is running and sliding across the floor trying to get away from the dangerous stomping feet. Ginny and I are rolling around laughing on the empty living room floor. _

_**XXX**_

_**Now we're spinning empty bottles it's the five of us**__, Me, Ginny, The boys and Crookshanks. We're just being terribly foolish and I'll probably spill my guts without the stupid game that was my idea in the first place. Everyone else is laughing at Crookshanks who still can't seem to steady himself on the floor. He's acting about as drunken as we all feel. I call him over sympathetically, smiling myself. He sticks his tail up and trudges into the other room, probably to sleep on his sheets. Snob. _

_XXX_

_Ron and Harry, __**pretty eyed boys girls die to trust**__, and they're with us. My thoughts are becoming cloudy as I finish another bottle of Butterbeer. I certainly can't hold my drink because Ron and Harry have both had twice as much as me and are just as bad. Ginny has consumed half of a firewhiskey and isn't nearly as bad as any of us. I'll have to remember to ask her later how she got so good at holding her alcohol, if I remember any of this that is. Ron and Harry stand up again and start dancing with each other. After a few minutes Ron comes and offers me his hand I can't resist the day. We're dancing around the room now. His eyes really are the most beautiful blue and his cheeks and ears are red from the drink. He's still the most adorable creature I've ever seen and I blush slightly for my drunken thoughts. Hopefully Ron just blames my Rosie cheeks on the alcohol. _

_**Ginny screams out and it's no pose, cause when she dances she goes and goes**__. Even in her state she twirls freely and gracefully like in a play or a movie and I have to admire her for a few moments. I notice Harry doing the same from the corner of my eye and I smile knowingly to myself. I move towards him and make him stand pushing him in Ginny's direction. She catches him in her twirl, both of them laughing. It makes me laugh and I clap a beat, Ron joins me and smiles in my direction. Ron laughs as Ginny trips, her liquored state finally getting the better of her. Harry helps her stand up and walk to sit down. Ron calls to Harry. _

"_Hey Harry, the word maggot ring a bell."_

_Ron, Ginny, and I all laugh as Harry gets __**beer through the nose on an inside joke**__. Me and Ginny look questioningly to one another. She just smiles and laughs and moves to finish dancing. The night has been fun and and I realize __**I'm so excited I haven't spoken**__ all night. I hope it doesn't have to end as I watch Ginny dance instead. _

_**She's so pretty and she's so sure maybe I'm more clever then a girl like her**__. Harry really does deserve her and again I glance at him. He is watching her with a dazed expression, though it could just be the alcohol, I cannot be sure. My mind starts to wander and I realize I've been here three weeks. I don't know if it's the alcohol making me remember these things, but __**summer is all in bloom… summer is ending soon…It's alright.**__ I try not to concentrate on that at the moment. I have my house, __**and it's nice not to be so alone**__. My friends are here and I'm having the best time I've ever had. I really hope I get to keep this house, and I hope I get to make more memories while I'm here. Even if I have to move, everything will change. Everything will be horrible if that happens, it would mean the worst, __**but I'll hold on to the secrets in white houses.**_

_**XXX**_

_**Maybe I'm a little bit over my head**__. Everyone passed out last night. Ginny and Harry are both asleep on the floor in the corner in a very suggestive position. If I didn't have such a very large headache I would be laughing and running for my camera. I run for my camera anyway, groaning slightly at the pounding noise my own feet are making on the stairs. I really shouldn't have had so much to drink, but as the night wore on I think I did it because I was determined to make it last. Only the logic of a drunk. I rummage through one of the boxes in the corner of my room. I finally find my camera and look down to find crookshanks rubbing up against my leg. _

"_So now you want to be friendly?"_

_I hear a scuffling in the doorway and turn to find Ron. His red hair is frazzled and everywhere. His blue eyes are half closed in his half conscious state. He is wearing a red_ _t-shirt that isn't hiding his Quidditch physic very well. He looks at me and lets a crooked smile grace his face. He groans and grabs his head afterwards and I smile back at him. _

"_Ya, I know what you mean."_

_He smirks a little and I feel crooks move away from my legs. He goes over and lays on his sheets, eager to get back to sleep after he has welcomed me to the world of the conscious. I wish _I_ could just go back to sleep. My mood brightens slightly as I remember the stock of hang over potion I bought at a small apothecary at the edge of diagon alley. I hold up a finger to Ron, telling him to wait a moment as I move into the bathroom attached to my bedroom. I open the medicine cabinet and take out two small crystal blue vials. These should do the trick. I move back into the bedroom and hand one to Ron who eyes it apprehensively. I gulp mine down without hesitation. Even as I'm tilting my head back to its normal position I can feel warmth in my head and within a few moments the sensation and the headache are both gone. Ron smiles and it appears his has worked as well. He hands me back the vial and I move back into the bathroom to put the now empty bottles back in the cabinet. As I move into the bathroom I can hear Ron call to me. _

"_I love you Hermione."_

_**I come undone at the things he said**__. I know he's only joking; it's just his overwhelming gratitude and his usual exaggeration. I wish he wouldn't joke about those things, they're much too serious, and much too real for me. It's not as indifferent a comment as Ron probably meant it to be and I can feel a new sensation taking the place of the headache that just left. I feel an emptiness in my stomach as I move back to the bedroom. At first I think it's just hurt from what Ron said, but then my stomach growls and I realize I'm hungry. Ron turns to me, apparently he heard it to. I blush as he smiles._

"_Come on, we'll go out to eat, I wouldn't want to disturb Ginny and Harry, and besides I love driving."_

_**He's so funny in his bright red shirt **__and I can't refuse his proposal. I nod and move downstairs with him. He has changed but I'm still dressed in my clothes from the night before. _

"_I'll be right back, I'm going to go get cleaned up."_

_I move back up the stairs as he sits on the hardwood floor in the living room. I really should just get a sofa. I rummage through a few boxes before I find a comfortable pair of jeans, a t-shirt- and my favorite army green jacket. I pull them out and change quickly. It'll be the first time I've been out with him alone in a long time, and it might lead to something. I wish it would. I run to the mirror in the bathroom and flatten my hair with my hands which doesn't do a lot of good. It hasn't been the frizzy bush it once was in a long time. It's tame and longer now. The weight made it straight at the top and then curl in ringlets at the bottoms. I'm rather fond of it now. I smile at my own reflection and hurry back into the bedroom. I see the camera on the bed and grab it before grabbing my purse off the bedside table and head down the stairs to meet Ron. He stands and I snap a picture of Ginny and Harry before stuffing the camera in my purse and following Ron out the door._

XXX

It had been such a long time ago, and now I was leaving the house I promised myself I never would. All of my things are once again in boxes, and the living room is empty again like it had been for the first two months that I had lived here. My mother's sofa is packed as well. Living here isn't an option anymore. Not now that I am in danger. Not when so many memories dwell in this place now. Not when it is known where I am residing. I have to leave the place I have become so attached to. I have to.

Everything is packed and ready and I'm standing in the living room, closing up the last box, the box of things that came out of my bedside table. Something moving catches my eye in the box and I open it again to see that it's just a picture. It's Harry and Ginny lying side by side. Harry's arms are draped around Ginny's hip and she's spooned into him. Both of them open their eyes groggily and look up at me. They smile and wave. I smile sadly down at them and pick the picture up. Both of them go back to sleep, falling back into their original positions. I close the box and move to put the picture in my purse. Crookshanks is lying beside it. He opens one lazy eye and looks up at me, almost as if to hurry me along and get it over with. He never had a connection to the hard wood floors like I did. I smile at him and look at the picture one last time before I put it in my purse and set the bag down again.

It's a pity how everything turned out in the end. It's a pity that day ever had to end. I remember it very clearly now. I remember the night and the day afterwards. How could I forget something like that? Well it is easy after so many things have happened recently. But I won't ever forget him. Or that night. _**We were all in love…and we all got hurt.**_

_XXX_

_As we move down the drive way I can feel his eyes on me and summoning my Gryffindor courage I turn around and look at him. His ears turn read and I tilt my head in question. He just grins and moves to the driver side of the car. I __**sneak into his car's black leather seat**__. It's a nice car I have to admit that. I wander how he got it. Probably through the ministry or one of the order members. The family is doing much better financially thanks to the money Ron and all of his brothers are making. They deserve the wealthy life, they always have. Mrs. Weasley would never allow it to get to their heads, like a good mother wouldn't. _

_As the car starts I take a deep breath. __**The**__**smell of gasoline in the summer heat**__ hits my nose and I cough slightly. Ron is shaken from his excitement of driving and turns to look at me. We lock eyes for a moment and I'm only slightly aware of what we're about to do. He leans in towards me and I let my eyes travel over his features before they slide smoothly closed and I lean in the rest of the way, planting my lips on top of his. _

_The kiss lasts only a moment. It's nothing but a surface kiss, no depth to it, at least not physically, but I can already feel my heart rate quickening. We pull apart only a few inches, so that I can still feel his light breath on my face. We stare into one another's eyes for a moment and I feel like someone else. We both smile and I let out a light laugh before we pull apart the rest of the way and start our drive to go get breakfast. _

XXX

Now that I look back on it I think I always realized, even in that moment, that _**we were going way to fast **_We were young, and we were doing things on the spur of the moment because we weren't sure how it was all going to turn out. But I can't dwell on these things now. There's another box upstairs that has to be loaded into the car, and I have to get out of here before I end up changing my mind and putting my life in more danger.

The battle is over. Has been a month since it has been over. But the war has not yet ended. Voldemort is gone, but Greyback isn't, and I'm on his list. Remus' Spy work has told us at least that much. Ginny is already under protection. Harry left Grimuald place to her so she's living there. Though we all fear that she might have to be committed to an asylum. Harry's death took a large toll on her, not to mention the death of her brother. Perhaps she would have been able to get over it if her father hadn't committed suicide. Mrs. Weasley has been in an asylum for about a week now. Ginny will probably follow soon. I haven't been able to get through to her; honestly I don't think she wants to be reached. There's this distance in her eye that says she'll see no one but Harry. We all fear that she will take it into her own hands the way her father did. I think she's smarter then that personally, but then again I also used to think she was stronger then all of this. None of us know what's going to happen to her baby yet.

I move up the stairs, much to the annoyance of Crooks, and into my old bedroom. There is only one lone box sitting on the floor. I move over to pick it up and notice a crack in the wall. I examine it for a few moments before laughing outloud to myself. The only evidence of the only flaw in the house I ever discovered. At this moment it's like the house is crying out for me not to go. Trying to show me all the memories, but it's only furthering my decision to leave. I can't be haunted by these images anymore. _**It was all to Sweet to last**_

XXX

"_Ouch!"_

_I groan as Ron Moves to put his arm around me and hits me in the face instead. His face blushes crimson and he quickly pulls his arm back to himself._

"_Sorry"_

_I feel a bit embarrassed for him and I smile, moving slowly and uncertainly over in my seat towards him. _

"_It's Alright."_

_I mutter_ _**and I put myself in his hands**__. It feels like I'm doing it in more ways then one almost. Almost as if I'm telling him to do something and see if I go along with it. It's almost a test for myself as well as him, how eager am I to have him? How far will I let myself go? How far will he take me? He has his arm around me now and I'm lying on his Shoulder as we pull back into the parking lot. It's rather late and I wonder to myself weather Ginny and Harry are still there or weather they left. Ron doesn't seem to be thinking along the same lines though. In fact his mind is in a completely different place as he turns off the car and looks down at me. I lift my eyes to look into his and meet his blue gaze. He leans down and kisses me on the lips once more. I kiss back, but this time it's different. There's a passion there, a passion that hasn't been tended to in years that won't wait any longer, I move back, my lips still attached to his, and wrap my arms around his neck, feeling his hands on my back and his tongue against my lips. I open my mouth and let him in. I in turn explore his mouth with my own tongue, learning the creases as if it were another book I needed to memorize. The warm space and the circles Ron is making on my back make me moan in delight. I realize I'm shaking but from anticipation or fear, I don't know. _

XXX

I move down the stairs, the box of parcels from my upstairs dresser in my hands. I wonder what everyone is doing. I'm supposed to be moving back in with my parents. Mc.Gonigal thinks it's a good idea if I'm inconspicuous and she thinks it will be harder for Greyback to get to me in a muggle neighborhood. Tonight I have to set up the wards around the house. Things are bad now, Minerva even went so far as to ask me if I wanted a secret keeper. I told her no. There are only two people left that I trust with the safety of my family and myself and neither of them is fit to hold the burden. The ministry isn't doing a thing to stop Greyback, so of course the problem falls into the laps of the order once more. Minerva is getting old, and tired, yet she is still leading the members on. Moody and Kingsley live abroad now. They're using their retirement fund from the ministry to live on the coast of France in a large apartment. Moody is too old and senile to live on his own. Every other week Kingsley has to convince him that he isn't being followed by dust bunnies. Remus has been distant since the war. No one thought he would last this long. Loosing his friends, the closest thing he had to a son, and yet he's still alive, or as close to it as he could be. Remus is more quiet then usual now. He doesn't laugh anymore, and he's more bitter then he ever was. Tonks couldn't stand it and they separated soon after the battle. It makes me want to cry thinking how much everything has changed. Sometimes I think maybe it would have been better if I had just staid a muggle and never met anyone. But then again maybe that's just my own war demons getting to me. Those little buggers never die.

I move through the entry way and out the front door to the car. Its mum and dad's but I'm going there anyway so it's alright I suppose. That day just keeps coming back to me. I haven't been in a car since I was with him. Oh the secrets in this old house. _**I'll hold on to the secrets in white houses. **_

_**XXX**_

_**Love, or something ignites in my veins, And I Pray it never fades**__. Like a poison slowly spreading through me and infecting me. Making me succumb to this situation and these desires that I have never felt so strongly. Me and Ron are in the doorway now. I just have time to read the note from Ginny and Harry before Our lips crash together once more. _

**You took to long so we went back to Grimuald Place, We'll come and see you tomorrow Hermione. **

**-Ginny and Harry**

_I drop the note as the kiss becomes passionate again. The two of us move slowly up the stairs. It's very hard to walk backwards up the stairs while Ron is igniting this fire inside of me but I suppose it's a good thing I'm the more coordinated one. I can't get enough of the damp warmth of his mouth and we move through the hallway, our lips still glued together. I land up against the wall and give a squeal as my hand goes through. Ron pulls away, out of breath and curious about why I squealed. I bow my head and laugh as I turn and find a crack in the wall. I look around and realize we are in my bedroom, on the back wall where the head of my bed is. My heart beat quickens as I look at him and I know what we're about to do. I'm nervous, and frightened, and unsure. But I'm also excited, and anxious, and aroused. And I'm with Ron, The man who I've wanted to be with for so long. He looks back at me, both of us are breathing hard now, and a thousand questions enter my mind that I could have done without. Has he done this before? Do I want to do this? Will I do okay? Will it hurt? I'm shaking now and he must have felt it because he looks concerned and pulls away slightly, giving me a bit more room. _

"_Are you okay?"_

_I look at him. Am I okay with this? I bite my lip, things are going to change soon, and I might not have him. But I have him now, and I want him. I need him. _

"_Yes."_

_I'm surprised by my own voice. It's low, and husky and desperate and in my nervousness the end of the word ends up coming off like a moan. Ron smiles, apparently taking it for anticipation and attacks my neck just below my left ear. The suckling noises and the pressure makes me moan as I feel my legs start to weaken. I've always hated Lavender Brown for snogging Ron but now I can't help but feel thankful for her lessons. I'm actually going to do this. __**In White Houses.**_

XXX

I move from putting the box in the car and back down the driveway. All I have to do is finish putting the food from the cabinets in the ice box and then I'm gone. The trip is pretty far so I have to be sure to pack some finger foods on top so I have something to keep me from falling asleep while I drive. Flying is much too risky, and if I apperate in a muggle neighborhood the ministry is sure to get wind of it. I think the car ride will do me good anyway.

I move back into the house and Crookshanks is waiting by the door.

"Not just yet Crooks. Almost."

At first he looks disappointed and plops down, but when he realizes I'm heading towards the kitchen he immediately decides he loves me again and he rushes up to brush against my legs lovingly. I stop and sigh, putting my hands on my hips and looking down at him. His handsome scrunched up face looks back up at me and I smile and scoop him up.

"We're almost out buddy."

He meows and when I get into the kitchen I set him down on the counter and open the cabinet. I pull out a bag of his treats and set a couple on the counter in front of him. He's satisfied. I set to work emptying out the cabinets, letting my mind wander once more as I bend down to pick up the ice box and set it on the counter next to crooks.

So many memories from that night have decided to come back to me now that I'm leaving. Not that I've ever really forgotten that night. It was very hard to forget that time. _**My first time**_. It was with him. I had always dreamed that it would be, though perhaps I was a bit foolish back then. I laughed. I was thinking like it had happened years ago. It hadn't been that long ago at all, maybe I'd feel better about it after a while, or maybe I'd feel worse. It had seemed so real to me then, but perhaps I just let my maturity fall at that point. I just let my young hormones get the better of me. Ugh no! I don't want to think of that night as some kind of scientific equation, something that can be explained rationally. I loved that man, and I still do, and people in love do those kinds of things. Though perhaps maybe not so young, and not so desperately. It's so _**hard to explain**_

_**XXX**_

_**Rush of blood**__. Heart beating rapidly. Temperature rising. Mind spinning. Knees shaking. _

_I'm so terrified. I've never thought so much about my childish insecurities but what if He doesn't like me? What if he laughs at me? What if I do something wrong? _

_Ron is still suckling on the side of my neck and my eyes are closing. It feels so good I can't even fathom ever imagining something like this. His hands are rested on my breasts and a flick of his thumb over my nipple makes me gasp. He kneads them gently and I can feel myself sinking. His hands move from my breasts to where he is holding me. His mouth moves back to mine and I'm surprised at how tender his kiss is even though his movements read desperately. _

_Ron has never been forceful. He's always been the shy embarrassed one, and it is confusing for me to see him like this. But I'm so new to all of this, and I follow him. It's scary how much I trust him, but then again I've trusted him with my life since I was eleven. Somehow this seems like so much more trust then that ever was. It feels like I'm_ _giving him so much more. He's teaching me this time, and I think he enjoys it, though I don't dare hope. _

_The kiss is so fantastic. I let out an involuntary moan from the back of my throat and I can feel Ron's smile against my lips. I am suddenly aware that I am falling backwards, and as I brace myself for the hard floor I instead come into contact with Ron's hand behind my head and the soft mattress under my back. My heart skips a beat. This Is it. I'm Scared witless which is saying something for me. I can't stop thinking and I can't stop shaking. Oh god He's noticed. _

_Ron sits up, pulling away from me and looking at me with a worried expression on his face. I can feel the blush on mine, and despite the fact that I'm still scared, I want him to keep doing what he was doing. I'm embarrassed, but I should tell him, maybe that will make it more understandable. _

"_I've…I've never done…this…before."_

_My voice is barley a whisper, and my words branch out in reluctant and frightened sentences of their own that get softer as I proceed. Ron is blushing now too as he gets the just of it. _

"_Oh…so your-your still a-"_

"_yes."_

_I answer quickly and turn my head. We are both blushing now and there is silence for a bit longer. I wonder what he's thinking and for a moment I have a dreading feeling that I've scared him away. He hasn't moved from his position at the foot of the bed though. He's still sitting there on his knees, watching me. I'm still sprawled on the bed in front of him, my head turned, my hair ringlets tangled on the bed, surrounding my face and head. His voice makes me turn back to face him. _

"_Do you want me to go? I-I won't if you don't want me to."_

_He's giving me a choice. He shouldn't have given me a choice. I was happy with just letting him do it and giving in, but if I have to consciously decide then I'll think about it, and I don't want to. I want to act without thinking for once. So I do. I shake my head and look up at him, his blue eyes watching me. _

"_Just…be careful."_

_I realized how childish the comment sounded. But my greatest fear is that this is going to turn into some lust driven, unloving one night stand with no love to it. I had heard from other girls in the dorm that there was a difference. I wasn't sure of the details, for I never stuck around long enough to listen to such gossip, now I wish I had._ _Ron sits there a bit longer. My heart beats fill the silence. He seems unconvinced. I think I am to. _

_My hands are shaking and I can barley lift myself as I bring my body up and move to the foot of the bed where he is. I look him right in the eye and move back in to kiss him. He is reluctant but as I move my hands to rest around his neck and open my mouth, his tongue glides in and in another instant I'm lying on my back once more, his weight on top of me. His knees are on either side of me, and his elbows are holding himself up so that his entire weight is not on me. _

_My hands move to the bottom of his shirt, and start to lift it. A small dart of confidence shoots through me as I feel the silent moan bubbling in his throat. The low tone of it urges me onward. We break our kiss to breath and I slide the shirt up over his head and drop it off the side of the bed onto the floor. He ducks his head back down to my neck and his hands travel to the buttons of my blouse. The Confidence vanishes just as quickly as I understand that he is about to see me and again my girlish insecurities come to play. _

_My heart is racing too much to think, all I can do is let it happen, and feel what he is doing to me. His lips move slowly and gracefully from my neck and down to my chest, continuing their descent until they are at the top of my breasts. His hands are at the back of my bra strap and I feel the cool rush of air as my breasts become fully exposed to him. His hand moves to drop the garment off the bed and his lips continue their decent as his other hand moves once again to my breast. My mind is overcome with pleasure as his nimble fingers play with one of my breasts and his mouth suckles the other. I moan again, my body squirming upward uttering a silent plea to continue. _

_There is no more reasoning in my head as His fingers leave my breast and his kisses move down to my stomach. His hands are fumbling with my pants now and I squirm slightly. His hands rest on my hips as he slides the pants off of me and off the end of the bed my undergarments soon following. He moves back up, his fingers moving slowly first at my ankles and up my legs. I can feel myself becoming anxious and more nervous as he continues to move his fingers up the top of my thighs. I moan slightly as his hands drag up the inside of my thighs and rest right at the top inside of my right thigh. I squirm and moan his name, pleading for him to continue. I have never known him to act this way but right now I'm really not concentrated on this new side of him. His fingers move slowly inside of me and I let out a satisfied moan. I have never felt such a mixture of pleasure and don't think it can get any better before he moves his fingers inside of me, rubbing in soft circles._

_My body is moving with him now and he continues to rub me while pinning my hips down with his other hand. It's a rush of frustration not being able to move but it only heightens the tension and the passion and I let out a breathy moan. My eyes are closed but as I open them to look down at him and see his head dip, a rush of apprehension hits me before the wave of passion overtakes my senses. His wet moist tongue darts inside of me and I can feel a pressure mounting. Just before I feel as if I'm going to explode he stops and looks up at me. I moan loudly and at first wonder why he has stopped before I hear his pants hit the floor now I'm scared and for a second the passion leaves me as I feel his warm naked body rest on top of me. His eyes are again meeting mine and his hands rest in my hair as he lowers his head to kiss me lightly. I can feel a hot dagger on my thigh. I know what is about to happen as his weight and the dagger lean off of me for a moment before I feel it at my entrance. I let out a slight noise of anxiety and he looks down at me. Without warning he pushes into me and I gasp and moan in pain, closing my eyes. He stops for only a moment. I can feel the torn skin burning inside of me, and my fear at it getting worse disappears as he starts to move inside of me. The wave of passion __**and a little bit of pain**__ returns to me, my heart beating loudly in my ears seems to set a rhythm for us as he moves faster in and out of me. I close my eyes again, my fingernails digging into his bare back. I can feel the pressure mounting again inside of me and then I explode in a wave of lust and nothing I could ever describe. There is nothing I could compare the feeling too. I can feel him empty inside of me and then collapse on top of me, his warmth makes me realize how tired and out of breath I am. He rolls off of me and covers me up. I turn to look at him and he smiles at me and brushes a strand of hair from my face. I smile back at him and move into him before I drift off to sleep._

_**On a cloudy day**__ I stand here fighting, knowing now that things have indeed turned out for the worst. Harry is standing a few feet away from me, and as much as I want to keep an eye on what everyone is doing I have my own battle to worry about. Macnair aims another spell for my face and I quickly block it and mentally aim a stunning hex for him. Just as it hits him I see a flash of green rush across the field and a large white light encases both Harry and Voldemort. I turn on the spot as the yells emanate from around the battlefield. It seems that enemy and friend have all ceased their fighting to witness the outcome of the battle that has been raging for years. I can't see Harry or Voldemort, but as the light starts to recede I can see one body on the battle field. Harry's. I fall to my knees as the death eaters give a shout of triumph and then a scream of agony and terror. A few feet away lay a pile of rubble, a bone taken from a grave long ago, and a pile of old robes that were left behind. Voldemort is gone, but so is Harry. There are still people fighting and a red shot is aimed right for me. I quickly roll out of the way and scramble to my feet. Bellatrix lestrange is firing off spells everywhere she can manage in her anger and sorrow. Ron is engaged in a battle with Greyback, the monster bounds away, not at all eager to become a member of the eternal sleep. Ron turns and looks around, his face is dirty and sweaty, but still handsome as ever. He has no idea what has just happened with Harry. He gives me a smile before he realizes that I am crying and he gives me a questioning look of worry before his face goes pale white. I scream in agony as the slicing hex hits him across the stomach and he falls to the ground._

_Abandoning all attempts to defend myself I rush over to him, falling to my knees beside his lifeless body. I rest my head upon his stomach as bright colors continue to flash above my head, looking far more innocent then truth makes them._

**XXX**

**It's more common then you think.** People love, and loose love, and die, though only in the worst cases do all of those things happen at once. I realize I have paused in my packing, and that I am crying. I quickly wipe my tears away, and stuff the remaining food into the ice box before lifting it off the counter and setting it by the door. All of the other boxes are in the car and now all that is left is to put crooks in his cat carrier. He hates it. As I chase him up the stairs, cat carrier in hand, I try to erase the memories that have haunted me for so long. Now that I think about that night it really was just like him. He tried to make it great for me but in the end he got desperate and his animalistic nature took over. **He's my first mistake**. No, not true in the slightest, but allowing that night to happen might have been the biggest mistake I've ever made. But thinking now, how would I have felt having let him die without letting him know how I felt. I think that night happened for a reason, a very good reason, and I shouldn't regret it.

I finally catch crooks in my room on his sheet where my bed used to be. He yowls at me angrily but settles as I place him and the blanket in the carrier. As I lift the blanket a loud clatter resounds throughout the room and the sound of breaking glass. On the floor is an old photograph of a Christmas scene at the burrow.

"Crookshanks, where did you get this?"

I lean down and pick up the photo after locking the cat carrier door and setting it on the floor. The occupants inside the figure are standing in a line. The image of myself is rolling her eyes as Ron and Harry make funny faces on either side of her. Ginny is laughing at Fred who is putting a pie in the face of George as an angry Mrs. Weasley looks on. Her husband attempts to calm her down as Remus and Tonks share a quick and unexpected kiss (as it appears by the look on Remus' face) in the corner of the frame. I can't help but laugh outloud at the scene as another sad lone tear falls down my cheek.

To think of how all of them are now, they're all so different and some of them gone forever. A grim dark mood overtakes me. I wonder if I'm going to be as mad as they are. If this war will soon affect me in the same way.

"**Maybe you were all just faster then me**."

Ginny hasn't given up on Harry, and Mr. Weasley gave up his life before he gave up on his children. Mrs. Weasley hasn't given up on her husband even after he gave up on himself. Is it possible or right for me and Ron **to give each other up so easily**? None of it was easy, it wasn't even bearable. **These silly little wounds will never mend**.

I quickly repair the glass on the picture and the occupants' wave up at me. I tuck the picture under my arm and take the cat carrier in my hand. Knowing now that I am leaving this house, knowing now everything that has happened. How much I have grown, even in ways I never wanted to grow. How I've seen things I never wanted to see. **I feel so far from where I've been.**

I move down the stairs and take one last look at the large empty house. **So I go, and I will not be back here again.**

I move outside and close the door behind me, walking down the long brick lain path towards the car. I open the door and place Crookshanks and the photo in the back seat. I turn and take one last look at the house.

**I'm gone as the day is fading on white houses. **Its time to move on and fight the rest of the fight. I know I have to keep going, for all of them **and I put my injuries all in the dust**. I know that this house will always be here, and I will always keep everything that I had here. **In my heart is the 5 of us in white houses. **I know it's foolish.

I let a small smile grace my lips

"**You…Maybe you'll remember me."**

A single flash of his face meets me as I get into my car and close the door. Ron.

"**What I gave is your is to keep" **

I can't choke back the sob as I fasten my seat belt and move down the road. I cried. I cried for the past and I cried for what I was leaving behind. For what I still had to do. But mostly I cried for him.

**in white houses **

**in white houses **

**in white houses**

* * *

**The End**

**I know not that great, but this was a learning experience for me. It helped me with my writing and to stay on track and on topic. Thanks guys . **

**( I updated after I got the first few reviews and realized my lines seperating the instance had disipeared. sorry I didn't notice sooner. Anyway thanks for the first few reviews guys they mean alot)**

**-Amanda**


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